Lips like Jagger!

Another day on the job and nothing beats running into the shops on your way home.. 5pm, you know all the retailers are circumnavigating the till ready to start cash down and settlement for the day. So the naughty part of you thinks “Well I’ll just take my time because other people did this to me when I was in retail” LOL. But you know better and you go in there and chat for what you have to and leave knowing they want to get home to their partners or pets or maybe they have a yoga class at 6.30pm.

So I was rather surprised when I went to buy my foundation and mascara and the lady started showing me the lipstick. Maybe she was low on sales?
“Oh you have to try this new lippy!” She said, “there’s such an array of colours this year”

In a creepy way this bird sounded like the lady from Kath and Kim in the cookware shop! Seriously? I didn’t think people ACTUALLY spoke like that! Even so, I love those hornbags!

“Oh you haave to try on this colour, is so you..”
“It is? I said. Standing there like a pork chop squirming as she rolled her ooos and arrrs.

“Here try this one..”
“It looks like the other colours, whats so good about it” I asked as she smeared it all over my lips.
I pouted in the mirror.. She pulled out the tissue box and started drawing lips against my wishes, but I sat there and let her think she was doing the good sell.
“Ooh it looks deevine!” She slurred. ” This waan has gorrt the silver flecks through it and the one im putting on you now.. has 24 ct gold through it” Sooow it reflects in the light you see”

“Why would you put gold in something you would have on your li…
I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Gold? You mean real gold?
“Yes Darling weren’t you listening, had a long day have we or have you been smoking the whoopie weed?”
“QUICK GET IT OFF, I’M ALLERGIC TO GOLD!!” I shrilled it her! “And no disrespect I don’t want to look like Mick Jagger!!”



  1. How could someone with expensive tastes like you Bottleblonde be allergic to Gold….?

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