Today was a fab day, getting ready for an engagement party….I was taking a date with me (somebody very special that I had just become re-acquainted with) and we had been buzzing around the shops. I was very excited. But then when I checked my handbag, I noticed a missed call and voicemail from the Cuz, she didn’t sound too good and she asked me to call her immediately.. That’s odd because normally she sings ” HI the Cuz” Down the phone and I call her back.
Now, The Cuz is about my age and has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer only 8 weeks before her wedding.I found out whilst driving and after receiving the news on the mobile (enhanced by my blue tooth hand free) I was so upset that I tapped the rear of an AUDI. Lucky there was no damage to the cars – just a scuff that could easily be buffed.We wer so grateful that after having surgery, and her wedding, she only needed to have radiotherapy. So out came the cupcakes and the “Be breast aware” slogans. So I was a little concerned given that it was only a few weeks into treatment and that I had this call.
“Hayley pull over, I have terrible news” She said. I pulled the car over and swapped places with my new squeeze so he could drive home.
“They think Mum might have a breast cancer and she has to come to Perth to get it dealt with”.
I froze..A 3rd generations of Cancer, whilst the other is in treatment? is there even a god? Seriously? I thought as I drove to get my hair done a short while after..
I sat down in the chair and cried, the poor hairdresser bringing out tissues and trying to make small talk. I couldn’t talk, there was nothing TO talk about. I just had to wait.. and I also realised I had to be proactive myself. “Be very Breast aware the Cuz” the words rolled around and around in my head. Forget about me, how did they both feel.. How scared were they? Is knowledge really power..? I got in the car along with the 50 million hairpins in the back of my head and drove to see my Aunt. I just had to see her, not that it would change anything.. I pulled up into the driveway and turned around to see a random guy on a moped with a helmet that made his head look Elmo. A guy with an Elmo helmet just drove past me.. Elmo just drove past me on a moped.. The Cuz saw it too and we both laughed. Phew! needed a laugh. Obviously the guy lives for the moment and doesn’t care what other people think, Good on him I guess. (Courage Dorothy.. courage!- if Ionly had the nerve! A heart, a brain, a home!)
” I’m fine Hayley, seriously I’m fine”
“HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM AND COLLECTED!! IM SCARED SHITLESS AND YOUR SAYING YOUR FINE??” I yelped at her. But after I had been told the plan of attack, I finally felt better. We just had to stick to the plan and whatever unfolded, unfolded. She was just going to cut the crap and get on with it.. What a Gal?!! I was so proud of the two of them, they were both so brave and positive..
Kissing the Cuz and the Aunt goodbye, I sat in the car and breathed in deeply as Freddie Mercury filled the speakers of my car. Ironically he starting “Theres no time for us” and visions of his yellow jacket graced the dash of my car. “Who wants to live.. forever? ” WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER”
Gosh that man could sing.. It takes a lot of balls to get up and perform, wish I could do it.. I can pipe out the odd song or two.. And then it dawned on me. I’m thirty. Its time to do what I have to. We aren’t here for ever are we Freddie? Illness strikes us all.. The sun was starting to set..
And then I remembered. There was an audition for Cats the Musical coming to Perth. I’d thought about it ages ago, and came up with a million excuses as to why I shouldnt have a go. Your not good enough Hayley, you’re not slim enough, you havent had years of tuition, you don’t have time. I had talked myself out of it.. I was scared.
Well you know what? If my Cuz and Aunt can go through the scariness that Breast Cancer brings to women, I can stand up there and sing a couple of tunes to a bunch of musical Folk!
I’m doing this for you…